22 Occasions When You Shouldn't Hesitate to be a Bitch
do NOT take this, if you want to use it simply ask me. I know nobody has it so if you take it I'll know it was you, I can prove it easily, and trust me I will be sure to let everybody know you took it ;)

1. When his new girlfriend says you're so much nicer and prettier and, gosh, less insane than she expected
2. When it happens the time after the time he swore would be the absolute last
3. When your feet hurt, the bills are due, you just got your period and you know the person you're with will forgive you tommorrow
4. When you're wearing your highest heels, your tightest skirt and your biggest attitude--and you can tell he's lapping it up.
5. When someone introduces you as having a "fun" job
6. When the woman across from you in the communal dressing room suggests you look for one of those new swimsuits that work like a girdle
7. When reason, negotiation and fury have failed
8. When he seems to think that paying for a plate of $8.95 pasta and a half a bottle of Merlot entitles him to a night in your pants
9. When someone thinks that what's not good enough for them--a job, a dress, a man--ought to be good enough for you
10. When your boss, your client or your mother-in-law really deserves it--and is safely out of earshot.
11. When the person you fixed up on a date or recommended for a job interview calls to complain about what an awful experience it was.
12. When he cutes off a lot more than you asked him to and then expects praise. And a tip.
13. When you and your female companion get seated at a tiny table for two, while any woman who's with a man gets to luxuriate at a table for four
14. When you're up against the kind of guy who tells you to get him some coffee, black, and make sure his cup is clean, darlin'
15. When an acquaintance asks why you didn't get the promotion.
16. When the clerk keeps you standing there, money in hand, while he/she yammers to his buddy about last night's party.
17. When you keep telling yourself it doesn't matter, you shouldn't say anything, just rise above it, show her you're not as small-minded as she is--but it just keeps bugging you.
18. When someone begs you to visit for the weekend and then acts like your presence is ruining their life
19. When an uninvited and unwelcome hand finds its way to your butt.
20. When he confesses he wants to date your roommate, Bob.
21. When his mother told him to have his Aunt Tillie and Uncle Gus over, and you invited them, and you shopped and cooked and served, and you smiled and nodded through the details of the bylaws of their condo in Florida, and then, when they finally leave, and the dishes are still piled everywhere, he yawns and stretches and says he's going to bed.
22. When you try to talk to him about something upsetting that he's done, and he tells you to stop being such a bitch